She isn’t sure how it happened or when it happened but one day she woke up. She wanted to find the pieces of herself, spread her wings again. She still had a faint memory of them being spread pondering was it in this lifetime or another… she’s not sure but that doesn’t matter. Time and space doesn’t’ matter. What matters is REMEMBERING. Re member-ing.
What to do? Where to start? How is she going to recognise the path?
Doubts are breezing through her body just for a moment, (sometimes the moment is longer, sometimes it’s shorter), but she gets through it. And She REMEMBERS.
She remembers what to do…. So she does it. She closes her eyes.
She remembers where to start. So she starts by going back to herself, following her inner-senses.
She remembers her path and as she rewinds the story, she notices all the trails she left for herself to help her to remember.
She finds the story within the story and unravels the truth within her.
With each breath there is more coming to the surface and it makes her tremble because it’s coming right from the depths of her soul.
She hid it, hid the voice of her desires. Did she hide it from herself because the magnitude of her potentials scared her? Or did she hide it from the judging eyes of others? Or was it just not time yet?
But it’s time now, she REMEMBERS.
It’s time to re member all parts of herself. A sigh is rising from her belly up to her chest and a blast of air erupting from her lips, a feeling of relief. Energy is moving through her and feeling a sway within, moving upwards like a sunflower shooting to the sun, to the light, to the warmth.
She is alive.
She is rooted above and below.
She re members all parts of herself.
She is not sure yet what this all means but she KNOWS it’s HAPPENING and there is no turning back.
She knows it’s all her choice. It’s always been her choice even if that hurts to realise.
She has to wait for each day to begin and offer up new opportunities, possibilities, turns and twists, fears and desires but then she has the power to choose the story line, the path.
She is the writer of her own story.
She is the heroine of her own life. A quiet whisper bursting out of her – ‘no, I don’t want that…’ as her own power dawns on her…her body responds with a subtle thrilling shiver vibrating through her spine that spreads all over her body ‘YES, you do, you do want THAT…!’
Then there is a pause and she realises she held her breath back. So she inhales deeply. Tears dwelling in her eyes as she exhales… her mind is searching to define this breathe, the air in her lungs, the life in her body, the calling of her soul.
(Modern Goddess Moon Journal – Entry: April 2019 Waning Moon)