Stop Closing The Gender Pay Gap

Stop Closing the gender pay gap - this may sound a controversial view at first glance but I am saying this to invite you to see a new, more empowering perspective.

The fight for more equality for women started in the 1840’s with the suffragettes movements worldwide. In that time, it was a revolutionary act. Women turned against daily life as they knew it. No equality existed. They did not have many rights to decide about their own lives. 

And now, fast forward to 2022, equality, especially in the western world, does exist for women. We can vote, have education, a career, a business,  have our own money, property, our passport, travel freely, marry or get divorced. We have the freedom to choose over our lives. 

There are recent events in the United States regarding abortion laws that remind us of those times when we had no say at all about our own lives, and it brings up all those fears, anger, shame and powerlessness within us. 

But even though these laws can be made today against us women, we do have rights and we can speak up and make our voice heard. 

These events happen for a reason I believe, to remind us of our power and what we can do when we unite. We can choose to stay angry and talk about how we are still oppressed, or see how another layer of our freedom and power is revealing itself through these events. 

These are the moments where we mustn't think that we are still victims, or oppressed, or not reaching our equality. We need to think differently about our equality. 

This might sound counterintuitive for a moment but in order to close the pay gap, or any other gender gap, in order to let go of any last shreds of oppression, we must stop trying to focus on closing the equality gap. 

This is putting us into a never ending victim mentality, reinforcing the feminine rage and it can hold us back from letting go of the collective hurts, fear and injustice of the past towards women. 

So what if it is not about closing the gender gap, the gap of inequality  but creating totally new milestones and stories of what women want and desire in life by focusing on the tasks OUR generation of women is here to do?

What if we shift our focus from gender equality to gender equity!

Our great grandmothers fought the fight of equality, THAT was their purpose. There was no equality in their time. Women did not have the same rights to call the shots in their own lives  as men did. Gender equality was needed. THAT was the fight to fight for them. It had momentum. But by now, this momentum has been exhausted. 

Yet, we are still in the mindset of  keeping fighting for equality instead of USING our equality.  

I believe our generation of women, US, are here not to create equality but to USE our equality for more gender EQUITY to close the gap, and any form of oppression for anyone. 

And we need to use our power of equality to show that just because they make an abortion law in 2022 in the USA, this isn’t a backlash or regression of our freedom or rights. It just shows us the direction of our focus to empower women further. 

I believe the direction of our focus is not the pay gap. 

Our direction of focus is on healing all of the shame, guilt, fear and taboos about our bodies, our sacred ability to create life, and to freely experience pleasure without any shame or embarrassment . To know and own our health and wellbeing. A liberation of the divine feminine and healing the masculine at the same time in the world. 

I believe these focuses will make an impact at the foundation of our structures in our societies. 

I want to share with you a a great explanation I found on a website called ‘Feminism in India’ about gender equality and equity: 


“Gender equality means that an individual’s rights, responsibilities and opportunities will not be determined by the sex they are assigned at birth. It is based on past expectations.”

So men can do this , so women should be able to do this. Men can have this so women should be able to have this. Men can be this so women should be able to be this. This is how equality is being created in our world. Matching opportunities for both genders. 

“Now, If the exact same opportunities, rights and privileges are given to all genders then it would be a historically catastrophic assumption that both men and women started out at the same position. This is far from the truth. 

The socio-historical oppression of women and queer individuals has marginalised them for centuries. So, giving a cis-gender heterosexual man and woman or queer individual the same rights and social location will not bridge the gap that exists in our gender biased society. It would unfortunately endorse the distinction and the pre-existing bias by maintaining the gap.

At a time when the idea of the gender binary is being challenged, equity is needed to ensure non-binary and queer voices are heard loud and clear. 

Although gender equality is the ultimate goal, it is only through gender equity that it can be achieved.

Gender equity means fairness of treatment for all genders according to their respective needs. It strives to bring all the genders to an equal playing field. 

Gender equity doesn’t equate one gender with another, instead, it attempts to facilitate equal opportunities for all genders to overcome their historical and social disadvantages by ensuring fairness and justice in the distribution of resources to all genders.

It recognises the individual needs of each gender and addresses them in an intersectional manner that can remedy the gross imbalances created between the male-female binary. 

But gender equity states that the individual who is historically the most marginalised, should be given more and better opportunities than the gender enjoying the perks of living in a gender biassed society. 

This means that one has to start at the very bottom. Gender equity is a part of intersectional feminism that enables the most oppressed individual to climb up the ladder and demand equality. 

The concept of fairness only comes when all the genders start out from the same level which they did not.

Gender equity shatters the historically dictated moulds of gender and gives people the choice to climb up the stairs as a way of compensation for their historical mistreatment. Equality is a farfetched dream which is impossible to achieve without equity. But the term has been used in the past in ways that reinforce gender roles and stereotypes. Hence, the term should be used with awareness.”

Our grandmothers had done the equality part. Ours is to focus on equity. 

We live in a patriarchal world, living from the masculine. If you like equality is the masculine side because equality  is measurable, based on data, what one gender has and the other doesn’t. 

And equity is the feminine aspect of this fight, that is based on creating a new story of expansion, and healing all judgements. 

Equity helps us to innovate our lives. To heal our fears of losing our equality and having the courage to celebrate our differences so we can write all six genders back into our history books. 

Our ancient and indigenous  societies acknowledged the existence of at least 6 genders we humans embrace, but in our patriarchal world, they got oppressed. 


You know they say that it doesn't matter  where you come from, what is your upbringing, you can be anything you want to become in your life, that you can reinvent yourself in any given moment according to your current lived experiences, following what you as an individual desire.  … That is equity and equality in practice. 

Our feminine powers, which is our creative power, can birth a totally new way of being and  existing through using our existing equality and focusing on equity. 

Through that, we pursue unprecedented ways of carving a new path that is totally moving away from past expectations and it is expanding equality not just for women but for all historically marginalised groups. 

So what is the next step that we need to do? 

The task of our generation, that brings momentum and gets us further in closing the gaps? 

I believe that current global events can always be an indicator of our direction. 

The most recent is highlighting our inequality is relation to our bodies, to our own bodies.  

So it is time that the next step is to heal the shame, fear, anger, and lift the taboos and judgement relating to our bodies, the most fundamental part of our freedom. 

It is time to heal our collective, unconscious,  ancestral fears and wounds. 

This is how we can use our current level of equality in our general lives in society. We need to have the courage to take time and space for ourselves and bring those deep shadows into the light. 

I understand why we want to keep focus on fighting to protect this equality. But this also prevents us from moving the needle further and I believe this abortion law is  a mirror to show us that  we got stuck in our momentum. There is a block and instead of becoming more equal we have a glitch of seemingly going backwards. and through healing our fears we can clear the block and regain that momentum. 

Another area we need  to heal is our sisterhood wound. We were hunted and killed for being a woman, for being a healer, the knowers of herbs, for being intuitive, caring, for our ability to create and nurture life. 

We were separated from one another by turning us against each other. All our feminine gifts, sisterhood traditions, wisdom, and rituals have been destroyed. We went into hiding because it was dangerous to be who we truly are. It was dangerous to be talented, to be different, to be weird and wonderful, to be unique, to be powerful for everyone, not just for women. 

Our sensuality and sexuality was denied, threatened, and punished.

When we dare to own our brilliance more and more and more, when we dare to gather and claim our weird and wonderful female and feminine rituals, we unlock another level of freedom, of equality and that won't be just for us. 

When we claim our womanhood, our sisterhood, and why we are unique as a gender, we set a new normal, where all genders can claim their existence, all differences can be recognised and celebrated. 

When we claim our womanhood, we reestablish the sacredness  of the female body, which through all life enters into this world. We make life valued for all genders, sexuality, race, hair colour, skin colour. All. 

We will move the needle of equality as we celebrate differences through equity.

Whatever happened in the past, however much we have been oppressed, and still may be  judged and discriminated against in many ways in our modern lives, we must rise from the pain and let go, forgive, so that we stop trying to make the past right. 

We are here to integrate the freedom we were gifted from our grandmothers. We are here to live, enjoy it. We are here to use it. We are here to create the wealth and abundance we want. Fully, unapologetically, unashamed, untamed. 

We need to heal the shame of our gender, so that we can access desire and pleasure through our bodies and reintegrate all the power of sexual energy into life. This is the last piece of the puzzle: the taboo of the taboo, the female body. 

We still hold back and hide, not daring to be different and unique. We still carry the trauma of leaving behind our feminine powers or ways and trying to behave like men, trying to fit into the men’s world… 

We are called, Sisters. 

To become aware of our cyclical nature

Our crafts and gifts 

Our femininity 

To have the courage to celebrate the differences without fearing losing our equality 

What we heal will reveal the invisible data that is missing Locked into our  deepest desires free from shame. Wanting more, being more. 

So what if we shift the focus from equality to equity? 

What would that mean to you in your way of thinking and seeing your life and yourself? 

What is the part of you that you still hide because you’re afraid it won't be accepted?

What would you do if you followed your deepest desire that gives you pleasure? 

When you stop focusing on closing the seemingly measurable gender pay gap but focusing on closing the gap between what you think you can have and what you truly desire to have. 

That is the needle of equity that can create the difference we yearn for.

For you, for me, for all of us.