How The Daily Wisdom Of Life Unfolds In Unexpected Ways

I have never done martial arts before. My daughter wanted to do it and we found her a Kung-fu and an Aikido class to try. 

When we took her to the trial session of Kung-fu, they told us, we parents could join in too. So there we were trying it out as a family. We all loved the Kung fu class. 

Then we went for the Aikido trial session too. Again, we all tried it out and loved it. The philosophy of Aikido is a non-violent form of martial art. 

The philosophy of Aikido is centred on harmony (Ai), spiritual strength (Ki), peace, and following the Aikido way (Do). The art’s philosophy is to meet a physical attack with the avoidance of violence by seizing control of the situation and neutralising the attack with an outcome where no one is hurt. 

So we loved it all, and settled with Aikido and started practicing a few months ago. 

And here I am in my forties, learning honourable techniques to twist other people's arms and body, and send them to the floor. But seriously, I am learning to move my body with precision in ways that were natural to do back in my childhood like rolling on the floor forward and back, walking on my knees and other things. 

My mind finds it hard to follow the intricate ways of placing my hands, arms, and body, and coordinate my steps with it all, whilst harmonising my body with another.

It’s fascinating 

It’s a thrill . 

It’s tough.

I hate it and I love it.

I hate it because I don’t know what is going to happen in the class. I am worried in each class whether I can do it or not. 

I want to stop doing it, so that I don’t have to feel this worry twice a week. But I keep going back for more.

I also love it because it is just fascinating. I love challenging myself to learn something that is all new in every sense. And when things flow, and I manage to do it, it feels awesome. It’s satisfying and liberating.

This love-hate relationship, this feeling of worry, yet thrill in me, made me ask myself the question, what is going on? 

Why does this create so much tension in me? 

Because I am courageous. I am always willing to face the challenges in my life. I am always willing to dig deep, face my shadows and allow transformation. So Why do I not want to carry on with the Aikido and experience this tension? I asked myself.

My first answer to myself was why choose to put myself through another extra pressure. I don't need this… but then, I am going to miss out on that amazing feeling of acquiring this new skill, feeling that my body and mind are adapting to these moves. I love the physical benefits as well.

And then again, I hear myself why to go through all that feeling of pressure. I can just carry on swimming, and running, and do my kettle bell exercises to keep myself fit. I love all of these and don’t have to feel that worry.

I kept up my curiosity, And then, it hit me. That the worry I feel, is not a worry. 

It is the factor of the uncertain, the daily norm of the unknown I was feeling. 

Doing Aikido brought to my awareness that, somehow, I turned this daily norm of  feeling the unknown, that is actually  a default of life,  into a constant  undercurrent of worry for myself.

Because as people, we hate the uncertain. We want to be sure so that we won’t have to fail or be rejected. 

In many different areas of my life, I am fine with rejection or failure, I am fine with the uncertainty, I don’t even notice, especially in business. It’s a daily thing in your business and you accept it and keep going. And this acceptance stopped me fully experiencing the feeling of uncertainty, and therefore, I cut myself off  of the gifts and the power that is in the experience of uncertainty. 

But of course, just because I was not aware of it, this energy of uncertainty was  still cycling through me, so it had to find a way for itself to show up, hence it transmuted itself into worry. Because energy cannot be destroyed, it transforms into something else.

And of course feeling worried is not good for your mind, body and soul. Of course when I thought it was a worry and tension, I wanted to get rid of it 

But realizing that practicing aikido is actually helping me to drop myself into the power of experiencing uncertainty is a whole other story. It is actually a safe and fun way for harnessing uncertainty. 

I want that power in me to be fully awakened. 

It brings a lot of momentum to all areas of my life. It brings gumption, and fun and an energy of joy, feeling alive. Even though we want to avoid them, negatively charged emotions are so powerful because they do make us feel alive. 

And you know what else,  as a healer, I use a few amazing specific methodology for me to heal, and for my clients to heal, and I have to add. To never  underestimate the healing you can create by  just living your life as you throw yourself into new experiences,  circumstances, whilst being fully present for what is happening inside you as you go through the experiences. 

Living your life is a powerful healing tool. 

So what is your life teaching you right now, showing you, how it is helping you to claim back your power? 

That is the question. 

And for extra fun, you can see me in my Gi on the photo. 

I hope my story brought you insights too in your own life. 

And you can also listen to  me telling this story on our podcast - Conversations With The Divine Feminine. It is conversation #64. 

If there is any topic around the divine feminine you would love me to do a podcast episode about, do let me know. You can contact me through this website. Easy peasy. 

And as always sending you love and light.