9 Secrets To Growing Your Self Love With Lasting Results

Loving, nurturing and nourishing ourselves is an innate thing. It is built into our human nature, yet, through many layers of conditioning as we grow up, we get derailed from this axiomatic behaviour.

Our self awareness can help us to notice how we are sabotaging our self love.  With loving practices, resetting our mind and habits, and healing our emotional landscape, we can return to our innate ways. The more awakened we are, the more we can deepen our self love.

Often, when we are working on raising our self love, we stay with the obvious actions that are easy to do in a daily rush giving us an immediate feeling of renewal. 

I would like to share with you a few things that often get missed because they are not the surface level self love actions. These are the things that may take more time and effort, but bring you fundamental change, and lasting results in your level of self love. 

There are deeper self love practices that can aid us to heal from depression and burnout. Love is power and when you use it intentionally it creates tangible results in your wellbeing and happiness.

1. Self care is often mistaken for self love because they have a close connection. Self care is the action, and self love is the outcome.


2. Self care is also not about personal care, so for example, when you give yourself time to take a shower, or wash your hair, even though these activities can make you feel renewed, they belong to the category of personal care, because you do them with the intention of keeping yourself clean. 

It is the intention that makes self care, self care. If you take a daily bath to keep yourself clean, that’s personal care. If you take a bath with the intention to relax and unwind, that’s more in the category of self care. 
3. Self care is the act of prioritising yourself no matter what,
Creating the habit of prioritising yourself is a potent act of self love, especially when you feel you: 
✦ don’t have time for you 
✦ are selfish or guilty to make space for you
✦ are wasting precious time if you just lie in the bath relaxing instead of getting on with your to do list.
✦ take care of everyone else but you.

You can build it through little, but intentional acts of self care activities.


4. Self love also requires a mindset shift and it won’t happen overnight, it is a journey that you dedicate yourself to. 

In order to create that mindset shift allowing you to love and appreciate yourself more and more, include opportunities for emotional and energetic healing in your self care: 

✦ letting go of past baggage, 

✦ old wounds, 

✦ limiting beliefs. 

There are so many modalities out there to help you with healing, choose what calls you. 


5. Working with your ‘Sisterhood Wound’ is a powerful route to deepen your self love. 

Each of us has a soul’s purpose, and if your soul was born into a female body and you identify as a woman, you have much to do with healing the sisterhood wound. It will show up for each of us differently. 

It might be that you continuously compare yourself to your ‘sisters’ and cirtize, shame, and put yourself down through these comparisons. 

It might be that you feel safer in your masculine and keep pushing and hustling, cannot trust others (especially women), and delegate or ask for help so you burn out and feel unloved and not worthy.

It might be that you find it hard to love your body and femininity and not fully claim the power and joy of being a woman, and the female life journey.

However this wound is showing up for you, it is a collective wound of our divine feminine, and as women, directly connected to our ability to love ourselves. Our womb is a sacred place that holds both shadows and lights. We are becoming aware of the need to heal and cleanse our womb space to fully accept and love ourselves. 


6. Connecting and nurturing your inner child can start as simple as remembering yourself as a little girl and sending love to yourself as you recall various memories, or rewriting the story from your present perspective to let go of the old story. 

This connection and healing can deepen through working with a healer/coach and using deeper modalities. 

One thing for sure. Loving the little girl, the young woman you used to be is a potent way to give yourself love.


7. As I mentioned the sisterhood wound, I must mention sitting in ceremony, connecting with the moon cycles, the seasons, and our own cyclical nature as foundational elements of expanding your self love. These are sacred feminine ways, as well as practical magic providing you time and space to be with yourself, get grounded and connected in mind, body and soul.


8. Follow what lights you up! 

This can expand your self love very powerfully. But its power lies in consistency. You don’t just do it once when you get an amazing inspiration. 

Following what lights you up is closely connected to prioritising yourself no matter what. 

Because logic can take over so quickly. We can feel silly by following what lights us up. These can be really small things like buying flowers, or going for a swim, or making a lemonade from scratch in the hot summer. So they can seem like nothing. Their significance can get lost and you may not even feel you're doing something for yourself, and nurturing yourself. But ignore nor underestimate these yearnings within you.

Remember it is the intention that makes self care a self care. It takes courage and intention to listen within, and willing to hear, and follow what lights you up, instead of following what you think you should do. 


9. Lastly, whilst you are reading through these powerful ways of deepening your self love, I do want to honour the potency and magic of the well known daily self care practices like a candle lit bath, a date with yourself, a walk in the woods, a day in the spa, a delicious cup of hot chocolate, dancing, meditating, or whatever takes your fancy. 

This list, of course, is not complete. I could carry on talking about other powerful tools and opportunities to deepen your self-love, like looking into your own eyes in the mirror and telling yourself ‘I love you’ over and over again. This can have profound effects if you keep it up. 

There are many ways to nurture and nourish yourself into deep self acceptance and love.

YOU know what YOU need so give it to yourself. Immerse in loving and nurturing yourself, and delight in the impacts intentionally loving yourself brings into all areas of your life, and confidently leverage from these impacts in tangible ways. 

This is a journey for a lifetime, so most of all, enjoy it and allow yourself to be creative with it. 

Always give yourself what you yearn for because they are the true desires and wishes of your soul. 

Daring to honour your soul’s calling, instead of the shoulds, or other’s expectations is deep self love.

And as Oscar Wilde said - “To love oneself is a beginning of a lifelong romance”